A Tap on the Shoulder...

Wednesday March 16^th

Still so tired. I’m running on empty –just want this week to be over. Tempted to call in sick, but I resist.  Coffee at our usual place and then it’s off to work for both of us.

At 9am when we hadn’t heard from our manager, I decided to go into the Executive Manager’s office to ask if he had heard anything. He told me that our manager would be off on sick leave for the next 2 weeks. He then mentioned something about annual leave and could I check the roster to see if it had been scheduled.

I walked back to my desk and clicked on the roster folder. Sure enough, our manager had scheduled his leave. The exec manager came over to my desk, checked out the dates and told me he would come and speak to the team once he had a plan sorted out.

I sent the team an email just advising that our manager would be away until April 4^th. The first 2 weeks as sick leave and the last as annual leave. I mentioned that our exec manager would fill us in more later.

The next thing I knew, there was a light tap on my shoulder and our exec manager was standing behind me. He asked if he could speak to me for a minute. I followed him into his office; we were joined by 2 other managers.

What happened next was very unexpected. The exec manager asked if I would be willing to step up and fill in for my manager. As he was speaking, my thoughts flicked back to last night as we were lying in bed reading our horoscope. The astrologer predicted that a promotion was coming my way.  Unbelievable! I accepted the extra responsibility- pleased that they had thought of me.

Our section had recently been restructured and now our team reported to the same manager that had originally designed our program.  In some ways, this was comforting for me – at least I had an idea of how he operated and what might be expected of me. The 2 managers filled the team in on the situation and advised them that they would be utilizing me as an escalation point until our manager returned from leave.

There was definitely some uneasiness in the team- not so much because of my new role, but because they were concerned about what might happen whilst our manager was away. The re-structure was still a little unclear and so much change at one time made people antsy.

The afternoon was very different. I started to feel very alone. The team was quiet- alone with their own thoughts. I could feel a bit of pressure in my chest. The next 2 &1/2 weeks loomed large. Like an old friend, the desire to eat lodged in the pit of my stomach.

How was I going to survive the next 2 weeks as an acting team leader? How was going to keep on top of my diet- especially with J on holidays next week?

At least I had college tonight to keep my mind off things. I offered my friend a lift and the 2 of us headed out to brave the traffic. I dropped her off without incident and managed to find a park right outside the college. I thought it might be a good idea to check out the meditation cds in the college bookstore. I was in the middle of listening to a song excerpt when I felt another tap on my shoulder. I turned and burst into a huge grin! It was my good friend from college! She’d left at the end of last year to pursue yoga instead of counseling.

I gave her a huge hug and we spent a quick 5 minutes catching each other up on the events of our lives over the past 3 months! She couldn’t stay long, but we promised to catch up again soon. I settled on Moments of Stillness and headed out to the café to catch a quick bite before college.

The mini spinach and ricotta pastry rolls were calling my name the minute I stepped out of the bookshop. With great difficulty, I settled on ricotta stuffed potato skins and a gluten-free rice paper wrap. Still no gluten until the weekend.  Of course, I washed it all down with a soy dandy latte.

Tonight’s role-play was challenging for me to watch. It felt like the student  counselor missed a few golden opportunities, but that’s easy to say from the safety of an observer stand point. We incorporated a new aspect tonight. Our lecturer is doing her masters in Education and she asked us we were would be open to participating in a study of ‘embodied learning’. It meant that we would pause before, during and after the role play to gauge how we were feeling in the moment.

After class, I spent some time chatting to my classmates about the events at work today. They were very supportive. It felt good to talk to someone about how I was feeling. Then, it was home to meditate and catch up on some much needed zzzz’s.