Praise & Push Ups

Thursday April 7^th

5.20am- must be time for me to get up for my normal Thursday morning pt session at the Centre. I wonder who will be there today? Grapes and Brazil nuts make an interesting flavour combination but it will give me enough energy to last until after the workout. It’s cold and dark outside. I don’t think I’ll need to turn the aircon on this morning.

Turns out it’s just me and A today. We’re back to the original circuits and for some reason, they seem so much faster than the others that we’ve been doing lately. I ROCKED it! Made it two & a half times through each circuit! I even managed 60 push ups!! WICKED!

I admit-I don’t always like the diet and nutrition side of things, but there is definitely something rewarding about pushing myself physically. I never thought I’d feel this way, but I’m really starting to enjoy exercising. Even on the days that I’m feeling sore and achy, it’s a satisfying feeling.

No time to ponder. After our 3 minutes of bliss, I roll up my yoga mat, pop it on the shelf, say good-bye to J and then it’s off to the car to for the peak hour drive to the office. Showered and seated at my desk by 8.15am. Good thing too, because about 10 minutes later J walked in. Although I’ve spoken to him on the phone, it’s been about 4 yrs since we’ve seen each other in person. He is filling in for S while he is away on leave. I’m really lucky that I have had the opportunity to work with both S & J in the past, or I would be feeling very out of my depth at the moment.

I introduced J to the members of the team that hadn’t met him before. Then, it was work as usual.

My plan for tonight is to watch last night’s role play and get a head start on my assignment. Having Little Miss next week will make working on it difficult. G got changed and hopped on the treadmill. I made a pot of dandelion tea, settled myself on the lounge with the cat, and pressed play.

Instead of watching the role play, I fast forwarded to the end of the disc to the part where they were giving me feedback on my session. It was just as challenging to hear it again tonight as it was last night. My plan was to see if I could ‘see’ and feel what they witnessed when I watched the session for myself.

My client was such a challenging client. I watched myself closely, trying to pick up what my classmates had picked up. But, to me, it just felt like I was being myself. I hadn’t done anything spectacular or said anything profound. Try as I might, I couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary. Their praise seemed unjustified.

The more I thought about it, the worse I felt.

I sat down in front of my laptop and got stuck into the self-reflection assignment. I would just have to deal with my feelings about this later.  About half way through, I knew it was time to save the document and head for bed. I was exhausted.