Patience

Tuesday Nov 30

Ugh. So grateful that I don't have to get up and exercise this morning. Still sleeping badly. My gym bag is packed and ready to go for tonight's session with J, and although my head is aching and I can't breathe, I cannot bring myself to cancel.

As the day progresses, I feel worse and worse. The sinus pressure is making it difficult to concentrate and I can't be more than 5 feet from a tissue box. Dunno how I'm going to exercise tonight.

Because I'm feeling so awful, J and I talk about my food journal and the goals that she had given me last week. Overall, my food journal is pretty good. I've added more fruit to my diet and I've been better at sticking to the 4 hour rule.  Breakfast is now much closer to 9am instead of 11, but I haven't been very successful about getting to bed before 10pm. Pretty sad considering my target was for 2 nights out of 7!!

J then went through the new exercises that would help to strengthen the weak areas highlighted during the overhead squat assessment. It will be good to have a bit of variety, but I know it will take a few weeks to get really proficient at the new ones!

Part of last week's angst came from wanting things to be different quickly-like yesterday!! This week,  I think I need to foster patience for both myself and the process.  Let's see how adding patience changes my experience of this journey.

Monday Nov 29

Feeling a little 'under the weather' this morning. Had a very rough sleep last night. Instead of getting up when my alarm goes off at 5.25, I reset the alarm for 5.55am and went back to sleep. I felt that an extra 30 mins of sleep would help me make it through the day.

Found it a bit tricky to concentrate at work. I think I may have picked up a cold from S while she was visiting on the weekend. Plus, I suspected that today's counselling session with V would be challenging. Last week had been such a tough week emotionally and I wasn't looking forward to talking about it.

I don't know why I put myself through the 'anticipation anxiety'--especially after all this time. Yes, V doesn't pull any punches and she always holds me accountable and thank goodness for that! I know that exercise and nutrition are an important part of getting fit and healthy, but to me, without someone to put my emotional 'body' through the paces, I think any success I may have had with diet and exercise would be short-lived. This time, I'm in it for the long-haul. And I am oh so thankful to have such amazing people around me to support me on this journey.