Connection

Friday Dec 3

About 9.30am, I opened my eyes; the feeling of a dream soft and heavy on my mind. I headed off to the kitchen to make my breakfast. I put a load of laundry on. Then I picked up my laptop and signed into ptEhance to log my food diary. Still, I couldn't shake my dream.

So, I opened another tab, signed into Facebook, and sent my dearest friend whom I'd just dreamt about, an email. The dream was still so clear in my mind that I could see her twinkling eyes and her 'I know you so well' smile. 10 minutes after I sent the email, she appeared on my Facebook chat.

I told her that I'd dreamt of her, and she replied 'so I read'. I smiled. It was so lovely to connect with her. I decided it would be much easier to speak in real time on the phone than to try to chat on Facebook - so I called her.  I'm so glad I did.

2 hours flew by. We covered everything from our days together at college, our families, our partners, our kids, books we'd read, and even 'life, the universe and everything'. Sometimes a deep & meaningful conversation is just what the soul needs. And, boy, did mine need it today.  Thanks, D.

It was fascinating to get a different perspective of myself by listening to D describe who she thinks I am. Learning about myself through someone else is so powerful. I think of my sessions with V and what it's like to be able to unburden myself of the things I've kept hidden for so long, knowing that I am in a safe place. Amazing. Precious. Actually...words can't describe it.

Connection. I think it's what I seek most in my life, and value most when I find it.


Thursday Dec 2

I didn't sleep in as long today. By 9, I was in the kitchen making breakfast. My goal for today was to relax as much as possible and to pick up some supplies on the grocery front. We were running low on essentials like cottage cheese, tomatoes and Burgen bread. That will never do!

So, around lunch time, I gathered up my environmental bags and made my way to the local shops. I think it's sad that it's so much more expensive to eat healthy whole foods than it is to just eat junk. My heart goes out to those people who just can't afford to buy the good stuff. I feel lucky to be able to fill my trolly with yummy foods that will help me become healthy. If we are what we eat, I don't want to be all that processed stuff again.

After putting the groceries away and making myself a yummy healthy lunch, I curled up on the couch to catch up on the TV shows that I had recorded, but hadn't had the time yet to watch. I settled for the first episode of "Making Australia Happy". It's fascinating to me that here in the West we see 'happiness' as something outside of ourselves, something that needs to searched for or worse, something that we'll find at the mall. There are people in the world that have a fraction of the things that I have- from material possessions to clean drinking water, and yet, they seem to be so much happier.  Hmmn...

Then it's off to meet G for an appointment. As the afternoon progresses, I start feeling worse and worse. The whole left side of my head is achy and sore. Not a good sign. So, I convince G to take me back to the Leichhardt medical centre. It's packed. 1.5 hrs later, the doctor confirms my suspicion: ear infection. Sigh, no choice but to take antibiotics.

It's 9.45pm by the time we finally get home. G has had a stressful week at work and needs some time to unwind in front of the TV. Bed by 11pm.

Wednesday Dec 1

I wake up feeling as bad as I had been yesterday.  Not ideal. I set my alarm for 7.40am so that I could ring work and speak to someone to let them know that I wasn't coming in today. But, no one answered, so I left a msg on the machine. The next time I opened my eyes it was because the phone was ringing. Someone looking for a donation. I politely declined; I had ready purchased a ticket in the draw a few months earlier. I checked the time on my iPhone- 10.38am. I should probably get up.

As I made my usual breakfast of Jalna yogurt and Carman's Classic Fruit Muesli, I thought of J and smiled. The times on my food diary were going to be all out of whack today. So much for breakfast before 9!

I spent the afternoon relaxing on the lounge and catching up on the laundry. Then, about 4.15pm I headed out to the medical centre in Leichhardt to get checked out and to pick up a Doctor's Certificate for work. Turns out it was just a head cold-much as I'd suspected. No anti-biotics required-which I was relieved about. I'm not really a big one for drugs. He suggested I take tomorrow off work as well to rest up a bit.

G thinks I have my priorities mixed up. Even though I didn't feel well enough to go to work, I couldn't bring myself to miss college. I don't want to fall behind. Plus,  we have a group project due soon and I didn't want to let my group members down.  I'm so pleased that I went. I love learning!

During the break between classes, I sent J a msg to let her know that I wouldn't be a the group training session tomorrow morning. I feel bad about not going, but I really think that I need to just give my body the rest it needs- at least until I feel better. It is interesting though, to know that I'm not using being unwell as an excuse to give up altogether or to slack off on my eating plan. That makes me feel like I'm making progress. J suggested that I come to the group session Monday. And, instantly, that made me feel better too. I do really want to succeed at this.

By the time I get home and settled into bed, it's 11pm. Another black mark on my list of goals for J. I'm determined this week to get to bed at least twice before 10pm!